Winning in the Game of Life


If life were a game, how can you win?


Like every game, there are a certain set of rules that must be followed.  There are points to score.  Penalties to avoid.  And if you want to be really successful at the game, then you want to study and understand all the rules.


But when it comes to winning in the game of life, just what are the rules – and what happens when we don’t choose to play by them?


The simple answer is that there is no one set of rules that everyone has to follow to win at life.  Sure, we may have cultural, legal, and even social rules, but these pale in comparison to the rules of leading a successful and fulfilling life.  These rules of the game are a bit harder to figure out, simply because these rules are made – and can be broken – by you.


Let’s face it: when we live by someone else’s rules, we can never truly enjoy a rewarding personal and professional life.  For example, if you’re continually striving to live by the rules of someone who’s been a major success in your field or industry, then you’ll never get the opportunity to experience what it’s like to trail-blaze your own path.  You’re living life by someone else’s game rules – and because you’re not that person, you’re setting yourself up to lose.


Let’s look at an example of someone who’s certainly living by his own set of rules: Charlie Sheen.  No matter what your opinion may be about him, there’s no denying that he makes and succeeds at his own game.  When CBS booted him off of his wildly successful sitcom “Two and a Half Men,” he didn’t beg for them to take him back.  Instead, he made a different set of rules by launching an extremely popular viral video channel and comedy tour worth millions of dollars.  His catchphrases are so beloved that they’ve even made their way into our cultural zeitgeist (“winning” and “tiger blood” are a few that come to mind). 


Now how does this relate to our personal lives?  While you don’t have to go to the extent of Charlie Sheen (in fact, as a personal life coach I wouldn’t recommend it), it’s important to define success on your own terms, not others.  Playing by another person’s set of rules is tiring – after all, no game is enjoyable when you can’t possibly win at it. 


By changing the rules of the game – or playing a different game altogether – you’re already on a path to winning at the game of life.


To know more about how a life coach can help you win the game of life, contact Discover You Coaching.

Signs You Are Headed for Heartache


Getting dumped is not a pleasant thing to have to go through. However, as unpleasant as it can be, there are usually ways to tell if your significant other is looking to break up with you. All you have to do is keep your eyes open and watch for the signs of a relationship going bad. Knowing your relationship is headed for the rocks can be very painful, but at the same time it is also good to know what is going on in your life and your relationship.

One of the first things you should look for if your relationship is headed south is if your loved one looks to get off the phone quickly when he or she is talking to you. If they can’t wait to end the conversation, chances are they have something else on their minds. This is definitely not a SURE sign that your loved one is looking to leave, just be cautious and aware of the situation.

Another thing that might be an indicator that your lover is longing for freedom is if he or she won’t talk about the future. If your loved one is constantly avoiding talking about any future you may or may not have together, this could be indicative of not wanting to stick around. When your significant other is so commitment-shy that you can’t plan your WEEK ahead, it’s time to think.

One more thing to look out for to see if your relationship is indeed winding down is if your significant other picks unnecessary, silly fights with you. Often, this is a sign of wanting the relationship to end, but not wanting to make the first move. Picking insignificant fights with you is a way for your significant other to try to make you angry enough to break up with them. They get the desired result effect without having to be the monster that directly causes all the heartache. This is a sneaky way to get the job done but it often works.

Another thing to keep an eye out for is when your significant other loses interest in sex. This is an indicator that he or she is cooling off in the romance department as well. This is a big one. This sign is very hard to miss and it could mean very bad things for the future of your relationship.

One final thing to watch out for when you think your relationship is on a downward spiral is if he or she wants “some space” or “to see other people.” This is not a good sign. It’s a way to “ease” out of the relationship without making a big deal out of it. BEWARE! This is not as innocuous as it seems. Chances are, as soon as you let him or her go, he or she will make a run for it.

None of these scenarios are ever concrete signs that something is wrong with your relationship. Chances are, however, that they are definitely not good signs. Do not become paranoid, but be smart. Pay attention to signs that are trying to smack you right in the face. If you would like to know how to get concrete proof of infidelity, click here. Best advice? Take a deep breath and communicate. It won’t hurt any less if you let it fester until you are both uncomfortable. Get it out there in the open if you think something is going on.

Group Therapy

Group therapy is a form of psychotherapy carried out in small groups of participants, under the supervision of one or more therapists. This type of therapy can be applied under several therapeutic orientations (behavioral, experiential, psychodynamic, etc) and it represents a way of exploring, examining, and developing qualities of the individual through group relations that build up amongst the members.

Short history:

Group psychotherapy has a long-standing history starting at the beginning of the 20th century, being founded by Pratt, Burrow, and Schilder. After the Second World War, group psychotherapy developed and diversified with the aid of Jacob Moreno (psychodrama), Samuel Slavson, Hyman Spotnitz (psycho-analytical group therapy), (Irvin Yalom (existential psychotherapy), Foulkes (group analysis), and Wilfred Bion (a type of early social therapy) in Europe.

Today, group psychotherapy is highly popular due to its wide range of uses: support groups, skills training groups, educational groups, problem-solving groups, relaxation groups, etc.

Key principles:

Even though it is not carried out strictly between therapist and one single patient, as individual therapy, group therapy respects ethical and functioning principles just as any other type of psychotherapy. Thus, the therapeutic setting must be kept and respected both by the members of the group, as well as by the therapist. According to Yalom, the most important principles of functioning for group therapy are:

  • Hope: seeing people that have overcome difficulties or are confronting the same difficulties as yourself will give you the hope of not dealing with them on your own.
  • Universality: the feeling that what you are going through is not unique and impossible to overcome;
  • Information sharing: in groups, people learn to share, both emotions and experiences, as well as concrete information that can help the other members of the group to reach a better understanding of what they are going through and why;
  • Altruism: members are helping each other, but are also helping themselves because they are raising their self-esteem as they’re observing the ways in which they can be useful to those around.
  • The corrective recapitulation of the primary family group:  Because of the close relationships that build among members, they can relive childhood experiences and rebuild family relationships that have been malfunctioning and, as a result, caused them pain and suffering.
  • Development of socialization techniques: without the fear of being judged, people are predisposed to trying new things in group settings, they also display a tendency to learn new behaviors and an ability to build up new relationships.
  • Imitative behavior: in the therapeutic group setting, people influence each other and are more likely to adopt positive behaviors.
  • Catharsis: Sharing experiences and personal suffering can lead to the release of built-up tension and guilt and can facilitate the healing process.

What is it for? Is it for me?

Group therapy can treat a diverse spectrum of issues, from depression (Dies, 1993) to chronic trauma-related stress disorders (2005) and addictions (Parker & Guest, 1999). Support groups (for parents that have children suffering from ADHD, for people suffering from AIDS, for people with anger management issues or for abused people) have, as well, a major therapeutic effect. Many groups that are based around art-therapy, drama therapy, psychodrama, or relaxation techniques are both useful and pleasant and lead people on the path to self-development.

To learn more about group therapy and other therapy options available to you, contact Estadt Psychological Services.

If you are going through a stressful situation or, on the contrary, if you only want to know yourself better and develop your creativity, your artistic abilities, or your social skills, group therapy can be the perfect option. All you have to do is a little research for finding a qualified therapist and build up the courage to meet people like yourself, together with whom you may learn to live a better life.


Actions For Seniors: Establishing The Proper Training Program


Seniors want common train to maintain muscle tone, enhance endurance and acquire independence. There are several other advantages that workouts render, that maintain the aged living longer and staying away from disease. It is best to draw the right exercise program that adequately fits their capability and needs. Listed below are some tricks to get your started.


What They Can Do:

The first rule is to solely provide sufficient exercise that will stimulate enough blood move to all of the important organs, as well as maintain muscle mass. Muscle tends to atrophy through the later levels of an individual’s life. You should maintain arduous-earned tissues through both cardiovascular workouts, stretching routines and weight training. In the beginning, it will be important that you just do an total evaluation of the senior citizen first, to ensure that she or he can do all of the workout routines without a lot trouble.


Very strenuous train will be detrimental to the general situation of seniors. You want to examine their response by listening to their verbalizations and observing how they cope. In case you find some adverse indicators resembling heavy breathing, profuse sweating, lack of steadiness, droopy eyelids and mild to severe ache, immediately cease the activity.


Being Versatile:

Exercise routines ought to be individualized, which signifies that one program is barely meant for a single individual. The precise method is extremely advisable since it takes away a lot of the chance of overtraining. You too can map out progress more efficiently by giving the precise type of workouts, number of repetitions and sets and period of every workout. Use a log book and fill in all the small print of every workout.


Exercise applications needs to be very flexible, in the sense that the routines and kinds of movements change each week or so, relying on the response of the patient. Your objective is to maintain or boost strength, flexibility and strength, if potential, so the workout routines should be upped as the individual will get stronger and better.


Getting a Skilled:

If you happen to happen to be a concerned son or granddaughter taking care of a senior citizen in your home, it’s at all times helpful to get the opinion of knowledgeable when creating your exercise plan, so you can choose the right type and intensity that go well with the needs of the patient. Professionals embrace dieticians, gymnasium instructors, bodily therapists, nutritionists, nurses and physicians who will examine if this system is appropriate or too strenuous.


Through the first few classes, you’ll be able to ask the skilled to help you in aiding the senior go through the different movements. Proper execution is essential to attain the varied aims and goals. Skilled assistance is necessary from time to time, especially through the occasions if you’re already supposed to judge the senior’s response to treatment.


Other Sources:

When defining the exercise routine, you possibly can seek advice from exercise DVDs that caters to seniors, visit on-line forums and watch movies online. You can even visit senior centers to have an idea how a typical routine goes. Take some ideas from instructors and the experts about evaluation and adjusting the routine for the patient.


Over time, you will develop the ability in maintaining the senior comfortable whereas giving her or him a very smart workout. Be reminded that weight loss program and relaxation are the other parts that may sufficiently assist the train program for seniors.

If you are getting older, but you still exercise, then you know that after an exercise you need a hot shower. A portable shower would help you, as it’s easy to use and secure while no construction required as it’s a complete unit.

Tea recipes for hot weather


If you’re traveling to a tropical place or you’re facing hot weather, these tea recipes will keep you refreshed and hydrated.


Springtime Citrus Iced Tea

This refreshing drink combines brewed tea with frozen orange juice and lemonade concentrates, sugar and water. It’s served over ice and garnished with mint leaves.


  • 6 regular tea bags
  • 4 cups boiling water
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1 small can (6 oz.) frozen orange juice concentrate
  • 1 small can (6 oz.) frozen lemonade concentrate
  • 10 cups cold water
  • Mint leaves

Steep tea bags in boiling water just until water is dark; remove tea bags and discard. Pour sugar into tea and stir until dissolved. Stir in the juice concentrates and the 10 cups water. Refrigerate until very cold. Serve over ice, garnished with mint.

This makes one gallon of refreshing tea.

Number of Servings: 12 servings

Iced Tea Surprise

Folks will really like this, but they might have real trouble guessing about the flavors that make this so tasty. The almond and vanilla are a great start.


  • 1 tablespoon lemon instant tea concentrate
  • 1/4 cup frozen lemonade concentrate
  • 1/4 cup sugar
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 2 tsp almond extract
  • 1 quart plus 1 cup water
  • 3 cups ice cubes
  • Orange and lemon slices with mint sprigs, optional

Combine first 5 ingredients, plus one cup water, and bring to boil to dissolve sugar. Add remaining water and mix. Place ice cubes in pitcher and pour mixture over cubes. Add orange and lemon slices on top with a sprig of mint.

Number of Servings: 6

If you want great natural teas for your recipes, check Glocal Markets.

How to Get a Better Night’s Sleep

How to get a better night's sleepCan’t Sleep? Help and Treatment for Insomnia

Not being able to sleep can be frustrating. Laying awake, watching the minutes tick by on the clock is more than annoying; if it happens a lot, lack of sleep can be dangerous to your health. A good night’s rest is important for physical and emotional well-being. And studies show that good sleep is associated with anti-aging as well.

Insomnia has been linked to depression, diabetes, sleep apnea, asthma, heart problems, reflux, restless leg syndrome, chronic fatigue and even obesity, just to name a few.

So how do you know if it’s true insomnia or something else? Besides the obvious lack of time actually spent sleeping, there are several things to consider:

Signs you might not be getting enough good quality sleep:

  • Irritability
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Memory problems
  • Fatigue
  • Trouble staying alert during tedious or monotonous activities

How much sleep do we need?

Most adults require an average of seven to nine hours of sleep a night. According to the University of Wisconsin’s School of Medicine, most people tend to sleep more lightly and for shorter amounts of time as they get older.

The idea that older people require less sleep is controversial. A newer trend in thinking is that we need the same amount of sleep at any age. Still, about half of most people over 65 have frequent sleeping problems. This could be a normal part of aging, or could be from medical problems that are common as we age or from other things, such as medications.

help for sleep problemsHelp for Sleep Problems

Sometimes adjusting a few simple things can improve sleep:

  • Stay active-maintain regular activity and moderate exercise
  • Try to go to bed at the same time every night, even weekends
  • Spend some time outdoors during daylight hours each day
  • Avoid caffeine for at least 3 hours before bedtime, even longer if possible
  • Replace a worn mattress
  • Keep your bedroom cool, quiet and tranquil
  • Avoid alcohol. While it may make you sleepy, alcohol can cause you to wake earlier and sleep less
  • Avoid nicotine
  • Take a warm bath or shower before bed to help with relaxation
  • Eat a light snack of carbohydrates and protein an hour before bed


Over-the-counter sleep aids usually contain antihistamine (such as diphenhydramine) and help with occasional problems, but they may cause drowsiness or dry mouth the next day.

The newer prescription medications for insomnia are less likely to be addictive and can help with short or long term sleep problems. There are several options and they work differently.

chamomile tea to lessen sleep problemsNatural Remedies

Complementary practitioners such as Dr. Ray Sahelian, M.D. have a personal preference for natural sleep aids. Some alternative remedies include:

  • Melatonin
  • 5-htp
  • Chamomile Tea
  • Lavender (oil or aromatherapy)
  • Kava Kava
  • Theanine
  • Valerian
  • Calcium, Magnesium, and B Vitamins are linked to relaxation
  • Massage, acupuncture, hypnosis, cognitive behavior therapy, relaxation techniques, light therapy or yoga may improve sleep problems

consult doctor about sleep problemsGet to the root of the problem

Understanding what is causing sleep issues is key to solving the problem. Over-the-counter remedies can help with short term sleep trouble, but if the problem continues, it’s a good idea to seek help. The best treatments are based on accurate diagnosis.

Your doctor may send you to a sleep clinic or a doctor that specializes in other types of medicine. Chronic insomnia can be treated by different medical specialties. Some physicians are certified by the American Board of Sleep Medicine, which means they have mastered specific clinical skills in the practice of sleep medicine.

If your sleep problems last more than a month, talk with your doctor about treatment options to find out which one is right for you. A restful, rejuvenating sleep is one of the most important aspects to good health.

Stress and Yoga

Stress, anxiety, anger and frustration have terrible consequences on physical and mental health. Yoga helps neutralize these harsh effects on health.

When life gets chaotic and stressful, it is all too easy to feel overpowered and crushed by the various events happening around. Uncertainty, indecision, and dissatisfaction surface, and the mind seem to be exploding. Tension, worry, anxiety, apprehension, fear and emotional upheavals, all take a very heavy toll on the health. Stress causes a host of psychological and physical disorders. Recurrent headaches, muscle pains, backache, insomnia, elevated blood pressure, elevated cholesterol, cardiac disorders, hair loss, mood swings, rage, and depression are just a few of the dreadful consequences of stress.

What can be Done About Stress?

Primarily, one needs to take action before a ‘burn out’. Determine the cause of stress and work towards alleviating it. Practice healthy living. Follow a healthy and habitual regimen. Eat right, sleep well, follow a hobby, and most essentially be grateful of the body and treasure it.

Yoga is a powerful discipline that helps lessen the impact of stress successfully.

Counter-acting Stress through Yoga

Yoga is a very ancient science that helps one attain ‘communion with God’. Drawn from the Sanskrit word ‘Yuj’, it unites the individual soul or the ‘Jivatma’ with the universal soul or the ‘Paramatma‘.

The regular and sustained practice of Yoga offers significant long-term benefits. It works powerfully at the physical, mental, and spiritual levels. It provides an immediate ‘feel good’ and buoyant effect. Yoga boosts energy levels and suffuses one with a sense of well being and peace. It keeps a whole range of lifestyle and metabolic disorders at bay. Yoga eradicates unnecessary mental clutter and pessimism and infuses serenity.

The Benefits of Yoga Practice

Chiefly, Yoga operates on the subtle energies in the body. The graceful and free flowing movements of the Yoga Asanas, maintain a good flow of the Prana or the vital force, in the body. Yoga balances the flow of the vital energy and checks an excess or a shortage of the Prana.

Most people have sedentary, desk-bound jobs, with virtually no activity. Yoga guarantees a supple and agile body. It enhances the supply of oxygen to all the cells in the body, betters the mobility of joints, tones up the gastric organs, and improves balance.

Yoga has a strong effect on mental health. It increases concentration, improves memory and calms the mind. Yoga encourages peace and level-headedness, by helping one tackle stressful conditions and encourages hope and living in the present moment.

A Yoga Technique that Provides Complete Peace and Calmness

Shashankasana is a wonderful Yoga posture that is easy to perform on a daily basis and instils profound peace and relaxation. One comes out of this asana feeling revived and rejuvenated.

The technique :

  • Kneel on to the yoga mat. Then, sit down with the buttocks on to the feet. Place the palms on the thighs and keep the spine erect.
  • Raise the arms, parallel to the thighs, at the level of the chest.
  • Gradually lean the body forwards, so that the chest is flattened against the thighs, and the arms are stretched straight forwards, on the floor.
  • Let the forehead touch the floor.
  • Relax into the pose. Hold the asana for about 2 to 3 minutes.

This asana lets go of all tension and stress effectively. It soothes the mind, relaxes the body and generates inner peace.

Learn to Sleep More and Better Every Night

Reduce Anxiety and Create a Schedule to Get More Sleep At Night

Most doctors agree that the average adult needs about eight hours of sleep, yet most adults are lucky to get six hours of sleep.

Between everything that needs to be done each day, tossing and turning, and daily worries, many people believe there just isn’t enough time for restful, healthy sleep. Some of the steps below can help to increase the quality and amount of sleep each night.

Go to Bed Earlier and Stick to a Schedule for a Better Night’s Sleep

Gradually increasing the time spent in bed each night will eventually lead to an increased time spent sleeping. If a person goes to bed even just 10 minutes earlier each week, they will gradually increase the amount of time they are in bed resting, and in a month, will spend at least 40 minutes more in bed each night – hopefully leading to an increase in time spent sleeping. And even if sleep does not come immediately, more time spent resting will be beneficial the next day.

Keeping a schedule is important to sleeping better, too. If a person goes to bed around the same time each night and gets up at the same time every day, the body will be conditioned to expect to be asleep between those hours. Stick to the schedule every day, even on weekends and days off, and the body will respond with a more fulfilling and restful night.

Remove Distractions from the Bedroom to Sleep Heavily

Bedrooms are for sleeping. They are not watching television, surfing the Internet, or doing laundry. A bedroom should be a safe haven, associated with restfulness and relaxation, and bringing a television or a computer into that safe haven can increase anxiety. If the body is conditioned to do little more than sleep in the bedroom, it will know exactly what to do when it comes time for sleep, and the mind will follow suit. Occupying the mind with distractions is detrimental to an easy sleeping environment.

If the body does not relax immediately and the mind runs wild, keep a journal or notebook on the nightstand. When an idea pops into the mind, write it down in the notebook and forget about it until the morning. Anxiety is the number one reason people cannot sleep at night, and if the idea is written down it can be forgotten until morning – a more appropriate time to deal with the problem – leaving more time for sleep.

Revamp the Bedroom for Better Sleep

Anxiety is the number one reason people cannot sleep at night, and the number two reason is too much light coming in through windows and doorways. Blackout window shades can be purchased to help reduce light from outside, and in addition, the shades also will help to reduce sound, as they are designed to absorb outside distractions.

Another reason why people often cannot sleep is that they need a new mattress. Many mattresses come with at least a 10-year warranty, but the average person will replace their mattress after only 7.8 years. There are many reasons for this, but chief among them are dust mites. Dust mites breed in mattresses, breaking down foam units and other components in the bed, making it feel different and uncomfortable over time. The goal is to spend one-third of the day in the mattress (eight hours) and thus one-third of the life. Therefore, a good mattress is one of the most important components for sleeping well.

Sleeping well is not a habit, but rather a lifestyle, and learning to sleep better will take time. Be patient and make a few simple changes at a time. If only one or two of these suggestions are followed, a person will find they are able to sleep better and for longer at night, hopefully increasing the overall quality of life. If all of the habits and suggestions are followed, a person will find themselves headed toward a sleeping makeover, thus changing their life.